Facebook congratulated me today for having 650 friends.
Not sure why 650 is a notable number (and I actually have 657 at the moment) but I'll follow Facebook's lead and take a moment to think, and blog, about what it means—and doesn't mean— to have 650 plus "friends" on Facebook.
In some ways it is a little mind boggling, especially when I think about how there were only about 250 people in my entire high school. Of course, not all these 650 friends are real people...some are duplicate accounts and a few belong to pets and some are entirely made up.
I certainly don't think all of these "friends" are friends in the sense of people I could reach out to in an emergency, or even go spontaneously grab a drink with if I was feeling lonely. In fact, most of my actual friends who do fit this description aren't even on Facebook or (unlike me) barely use it. The reserve is also true...while I would feel bad if one of my Facebook friends posted about being in a tough spot, there are many Facebook friends that I wouldn't feel compelled to help in person.
So what's the point of having Facebook friends? Is it all a lie? A desperate attempt to gain status by friending as many people as possible?
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| Notice the highlight Facebook...don't sell me short!!! |
To some extent, that is probably true for me, at least subconsciously. Mostly, I worry that keeping up on my Facebook friends is a major distraction that sucks away time from communicating with my real-world friends. I also worry that it makes communication too easy and neat...not sure what to say about the bad news you just posted? Well, luckily, there is a crying emoticon for that.
The flip side is that I do think Facebook makes it possible for people, including me, to share things that otherwise would be too difficult (emotionally and logistically) to share. Maybe it's just my Germanic Lutheran background, but I do appreciate the opportunity to share, and know, events and feelings and experiences, even in a cursory way, that otherwise would just get pushed aside.
The other upside of all my Facebook friends is that I do think it's an amazing opportunity to stay connected and see the connections that exist because of otherwise ephemeral experiences. I'm especially appreciative of this because of the people I've met through theater and music. Not only do I get to retain some type of bond with people I had a significant, if temporary, experience with, it makes me grateful to realize all the really cool, talented, and awesome people who have come into my life.
I also appreciate getting to have some connection to people, such as rather distant relatives, that I otherwise probably wouldn't have any interaction with. I'm especially thankful to the ties to my mother, no matter how tenuous, such as when a cousin posts a photo of her or I get to become friends with her Goddaughter.
I don't think Facebook friendships will ever be a replacement for actual human interaction, but ideally, we don't have to choose. If used wisely, Facebook friendships can actually help us appreciate the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part" (Unitarian Unviversalist principle number 7) more fully.
Or at least they give me a less-painful avenue for complaining about my Raynaud's or humble-bragging about my cat shirts.
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