OMG FoMO LOL

As the weekend draws to a close, I'm feeling a little sad that I didn't go to Art-A-Whirl. In case you aren't a Twin Citian, that's a free local NE Minneapolis art and music festival.

I didn't have any plans to go or any art or music that I particularly wanted to see, but I think I am highly susceptible to "Fear of Missing Out" (FoMO) syndrome. If you haven't heard of FoMO before, simply do a quick search of the interwebs and you will find all types of information on it. It's basically just what it sounds like, the worry that you are passing up on a chance to do something cool.

Social media seems to get most of the blame for FoMO, as it constantly shows us all the amazing things other people are doing and highlighting how they are having more fun then we are. While I can certainly see how social media could exacerbate FoMO, I don't think it's the cause of it for me.

I think I had it as a youngster out on the tundra–long before social media existed–as I remember thinking that a day where the only thing I had scheduled was school was a sad and wasted day. Maybe I've just always had a hyperactive personality or perhaps I learned from my mom that home was not a place you contentedly spent too much time at.

And I'm not so worried that others are having more fun than me, but simply that I am letting really awesome stuff pass me by. I think I also feel I need to make up for lost time because I did spend my youth in rural Wisconsin without a lot of cultural or entertainment options. I've lived in Minneapolis for almost 20 years now and feel I'm just starting to scratch the surface of all I could do and experience. Add to that equation that I'm 47 and I really feel pressure to not waste the time I have left.

I may also have "Fear of Where To Start" (don't think there is a cool acronym for that yet). When my schedule is more open (as it is now since the run of our Duck Soup play just ended) I can actually be more overwhelmed because I feel like I need to face all the things I've put off when life was too busy. Some of these are "chores" that I need to do (like put away laundry) and some of these are fun things I want to do (like practice piano or finally break out one of my cool coloring books). But where to start? What if I choose wrong? What if I waste time? Maybe I should just go over-schedule myself...

This sounds like I'm suffering from yet another common contemporary societal malady: Bragging about being busy. And while I don't consciously think there's anything inherently admirable about having a packed schedule, I am often an extremely competitive person about unhealthy things. But I also honestly do (mostly) want to do all the things I do and I know I'm extremely lucky for all the opportunities I have.

So I have aspirations of being more present, less frenetic and anxious, and this blog is one way of doing that. Writing makes me take a little time to stop and reflect and appreciate. But I know I also gotta be me, even if I am trying to be a better version of myself. And I may also have Fear of Missing an Awesome Blog Post Opporunity (FoMaABPO?) and Fear of Being Really Bad at Acronyms (FoBRBaA).