DJ Pizza Cat vs. My Inner Critic

In a little less than two weeks I'm going to run the Red, White & Boom Half Marathon.

I'm not expecting it to go as well I want it to.

So before I face that disappointment, I want to make sure I fully revel in the success of the last half marathon I ran in April. That means, time for a photo of a DJ pizza cat in space in my honor:

I feel like this cat is spiining tunes of victory just for me

My most recent half marathon (also my second ever) was quite a personal coup because I achieved a PR (that's runner's geek speak for "personal record.") I ran it way faster than I ever thought I could or would with an overal time of 1:56:07. That's an average page of 8:52 per mile. You can get all the details (if you happen to be extremely bored and stuck without any human contact or any type of intellecutal stimulation or tv).

So why am I talking smack to myself about the upcoming race? Primarily because it will probably be much hotter on the Fourth of July than it was back in cool, lovely, April. AND the race starts at 6:30 in the morning. This start time is good because of the likely heat, but my body just does not function well at 6:30 a.m., and I'll need to get up at about 4:30 a.m. Ugh. Most importantly, while I run all the time, I have by no means been "training" and I've probably gotten as far as sheer determination, without any strength training or strategy, can get me. 

Now one of the really cool things about running is that it allows you to set your own goals and take pride in your own very personal accomplishments and celebrate where you're at and what success means for you. That means that as a 46 year old woman if I can run a half marathon at oh-my-god-o'clock in the morning on sticky summer day, even if I do 11 minute miles, than go me. 

Except that I don't buy that. I'm competive and insecure and if I don't come at least close to my "PR" I'm going to feel like a failure. 

This spring I got to attend MinneWebCon (a really awesome conference with a rather goofy name) and heard a keynote called "Banish Your Inner Critic." Something from the keynote that stuck with me was that a way to banish your inner critic is to really celebrate your successes, even the small victories. Not only does this help you realize how awesome you really are but it helps keep you from constantly rushing to the next thing and living in a hectic haze (and who in the world would do that, right?)

However, my inner critic is a crafty bitch. My "successes," whether in running or theater or music or even work, often make me feel like I've already peaked and that I'll never do that well again or live up to them. Success is a double-edge sword (or pizza-cutter?) 

But I'm going to run the Red, White and Boom Half Marathon, and deal with all the Negative Nelly feelings, which actually does make me feel pretty bad ass. I'm going to be proud of what I've done and proud of what I will do, even though they aren't exactly the same (you can't compare pepperoni to margarita pizza). 

And I'll just imagine DJ cat flinging pizzas (fattening, non-vegetarian ones) at my inner critic.