Wouldn't It Be Nice

We're just a little over two weeks into the new year, and I took down our fake Christmas tree last night (somehow managing to cut my lip...either too much or not enough alcohol involved) so I better get this post about resolutions finished. Just after I started writing this post, a friend at work asked me if I do resolutions. I do think making resolutions at New Year's is a rather arbitrary exercise, but I approve of the culturally encouraged tradition of taking some time for self-reflection and growth.

I certainly have several ideas for things that would make good resolutions for me. While I don't think the fact that it's 2017 makes it more likely that I'll implement these changes, I still think it's helpful to acknowledge that these WOULD all be good ideas. So I guess I wouldn't call these resolutions per se, but more "wouldn't it be nice if"s:

• I ate fewer chips/crackers
• I drank less alcohol
• I spent some time doing yoga
• I spent some time meditating or practicing "quiet" time
• I was less distracted and more present
• I spent less time on Facebook (or at least only checked in at pre-approved times so I wasn't constantly interrupting myself)

I could certainly add to this list, with resolutions ranging from very specific small-scale items (do more of THIS, less of THAT, but I seem to have more things I should stop doing)   to more nebulous far-reaching improvements. But one thing that I keep coming back to is the idea of "Imposition Mentality," and how I could really find it freeing to transform this. 

I learned about Imposition Mentality last spring in Denise Jacob's keynote address at a conference called MinneWebCon. Simply put, it's thinking about things you do, even things that you love and voluntarily do, as obligations. Ms. Jacob's encouraged us to eliminate thoughts of "I have to/should/must/ought" and replace them with "I choose/I decide/I will."

If you're going to be a martyr, I admire doing it while wearing a classy pencil skirt
(Slide from Ms. Jacob's presentation)

In the several months that have passed since I heard this talk, I've been surprised by how often I catch myself thinking of things as impositions. I find myself thinking this even about activities related to cool things that I'm really lucky I get to do, like "Poor me I've got to put my drum set back together." I guess that's the rub: to experience the things (and people) we love we often have to spend some time doing things that aren't easy or fun or interesting. But I'm learning that if I  can keep a spirit of gratitude for what I get to do and the life I'm leading, and remember that I've ultimately chosen to do whatever it is I'm bitching about (okay not always the case but frequently true) I'll be a lot happier. 

This idea has also inspired me to consider that if I really can't change my imposition mentality about something, then maybe I really shouldn't be doing it. We all have limited time, so maybe I need to make wiser choices about how I'm going to spend mine. Of course actually saying no to something or giving something up presents a whole different set of challenges. 

I've also been inspired not only to think about why I'm doing things and how they support a goal I have (like getting to play a band gig and wear a sparkly outfit) but to enjoy, or at least appreciate, tasks for their own sake. As a compulsive planner/worrier who's always ruminating on "How's this going to work out/further the Amy Agenda/now what's next?" this is a big paradigm shift. 

So I'll keep pondering that...right now I CHOOSE to publish this.