Glittery Eyeshadow Aspect
At a little after 10:00 tonight as I was checking out at Target, the cashier asked me if I was going to a party or just coming from one. My brain could not process the question. I was buying mostly groceries, so at first I thought she was asking this because of the bagged broccoli florets I was buying. If I am bringing anything to a party besides/in addition to alcohol, it's usually chopped veggies and chips.
So "No," I replied, "that's just what I eat..." and before I finished the sentence I changed my mind and thought she must be asking because of the three dozen mini-cupcakes I was also buying. (Those were on sale so I couldn't resist picking them up for our rather long play practice tomorrow).
"No," the cashier answered with a laugh. "I mean your glitter eyeshadow."
"Oh," I answered dazzedly with an attempt at a chuckle. "That's just what I wear..."
I had forgotten that I was wearing glitter eyeshadow, and while it's not what I usually wear on a daily basis, I didn't really consider it THAT remarkable. (Although said glitter eyeshadow was basically smeared all over my face after forgetting I was wearing it and tiredly rubbing my eyes. Hey, I was out past 10:00 people!) But once again, I was half-lying to a Target cashier because the truth just felt too complicated and even more embarrassing then saying I just wear glitter eyeshadow to go to Target on a Friday night (refer to previous post about Interactions with Target Cashiers Causing Deep Personal Reflection Leading Me to Tell Lies).
I was, actually, wearing glitter eyeshadow because I was coming from a Readers' Theater performance (after a brief excursion getting lost downtown in an attempt to give a fellow actor a ride). While I don't necessarily wear glitter eyeshadow on a regular basis, I do like to wear it for any type of performance that I possibly can. More than ten years ago I read a not-so-compelling book about teen goddesses and a scene where one of our heroines applies glitter eye-shadow almost ritually before going to a night club and doing battle has stayed with me. Glitter eye-shadow is my totem of magic, power and possibility. And it's glittery! Sparkly and shiny! And glittery! So really, why not wear it whenever possible?
Well, perhaps, just perhaps, because I'm 46-year-old librarian and amateur actress and band member and NOT a teen goddess or even someone under 30.
The particular glitter eyeshadow that I was sporting is an extremely cheap variety (is there expensive, quality glitter eyeshadow?) that I bought at Walgreens. When I purchased it, that cashier (yes my interactions with cashiers do frequently seem to lead to soul-searching which is probably why I mostly shop online) said it was pretty but that she couldn't wear such stuff anymore because it brought attention to her wrinkles. I said I really "shouldn't" be wearing it either, but she so kindly said that I only had laugh lines so it was okay. I love her for her only slightly filtered honesty.
And back to honesty...I loved the Readers' Theater that I was a part of tonight (mostly as an organizer that brought other very talented people together) so I wasn't lying out of shame, but just explaining it seemed tiring. Identifying as a middle-aged lady that thinks "broccoli=party" is just easier.
In general, I find talking to people about my life, even with my friends, a challenge. Does everyone else feel like this? Are theater, amateur bands, running, and teaching Sunday School when you're an atheist especially hard to succinctly discuss with those who don't share your interests? Or am I just being too precious? I think I just need to embrace that I am an eternally angsty self-aggrandizing teen at heart and smear that glittery eyeshadow all over my face.
And now it's time to go to bed and get it all over my pillow.
So "No," I replied, "that's just what I eat..." and before I finished the sentence I changed my mind and thought she must be asking because of the three dozen mini-cupcakes I was also buying. (Those were on sale so I couldn't resist picking them up for our rather long play practice tomorrow).
"No," the cashier answered with a laugh. "I mean your glitter eyeshadow."
"Oh," I answered dazzedly with an attempt at a chuckle. "That's just what I wear..."
I had forgotten that I was wearing glitter eyeshadow, and while it's not what I usually wear on a daily basis, I didn't really consider it THAT remarkable. (Although said glitter eyeshadow was basically smeared all over my face after forgetting I was wearing it and tiredly rubbing my eyes. Hey, I was out past 10:00 people!) But once again, I was half-lying to a Target cashier because the truth just felt too complicated and even more embarrassing then saying I just wear glitter eyeshadow to go to Target on a Friday night (refer to previous post about Interactions with Target Cashiers Causing Deep Personal Reflection Leading Me to Tell Lies).
I was, actually, wearing glitter eyeshadow because I was coming from a Readers' Theater performance (after a brief excursion getting lost downtown in an attempt to give a fellow actor a ride). While I don't necessarily wear glitter eyeshadow on a regular basis, I do like to wear it for any type of performance that I possibly can. More than ten years ago I read a not-so-compelling book about teen goddesses and a scene where one of our heroines applies glitter eye-shadow almost ritually before going to a night club and doing battle has stayed with me. Glitter eye-shadow is my totem of magic, power and possibility. And it's glittery! Sparkly and shiny! And glittery! So really, why not wear it whenever possible?
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| It's Wet AND Wild! Tonight I opened the "Brass". And yes, I AM wearing the same cheap makeup I wore as a teen. Wet and Wild better never go out of business... |
The particular glitter eyeshadow that I was sporting is an extremely cheap variety (is there expensive, quality glitter eyeshadow?) that I bought at Walgreens. When I purchased it, that cashier (yes my interactions with cashiers do frequently seem to lead to soul-searching which is probably why I mostly shop online) said it was pretty but that she couldn't wear such stuff anymore because it brought attention to her wrinkles. I said I really "shouldn't" be wearing it either, but she so kindly said that I only had laugh lines so it was okay. I love her for her only slightly filtered honesty.
And back to honesty...I loved the Readers' Theater that I was a part of tonight (mostly as an organizer that brought other very talented people together) so I wasn't lying out of shame, but just explaining it seemed tiring. Identifying as a middle-aged lady that thinks "broccoli=party" is just easier.
In general, I find talking to people about my life, even with my friends, a challenge. Does everyone else feel like this? Are theater, amateur bands, running, and teaching Sunday School when you're an atheist especially hard to succinctly discuss with those who don't share your interests? Or am I just being too precious? I think I just need to embrace that I am an eternally angsty self-aggrandizing teen at heart and smear that glittery eyeshadow all over my face.
And now it's time to go to bed and get it all over my pillow.
LOL! I have two dds who are liberal atheists and into band and orchestra stuff. I don't know how this all happened, but the nice thing about the Arts, in general, is that all types fit in! Just look at Hollyweird! Now I must go buy some glitter eyeshadow so I can put it on and look like I am party ready!!
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