This IS Special

I tend to overbook myself. Or maybe that's just a slightly euphemistic way to say I have bad time management skills, and waste way too much time procrastinating on Facebook. Whatever the cause, a clear symptom of my condition is that I'm frequently late and dashing about in a frenzy. Most Sunday mornings I need to leave church as quickly as I possibly can to fit in some time to run errands or do laundry or make up some time at work or attend to whatever domestic or personal emergency I've created during a week of neglecting real life obligations.

But not today. As I begin an official (if not necessarily voluntary) break from performances for at least a couple of months, today's to-do list was a lot more realistic than it's been for a while. So I purposefully took some time to hang out and be social at coffee hour after church today, and am amazed by how just taking a little extra time to chat with a few people makes be feel more connected to our community.

"Community" is a pretty simple word that gets used a lot, but my experiences as a member of our church (Michael Servetus Unitarian Society, or "MSUS" for short) have helped me understand and appreciate community in profound and unexpected ways. I used to think of a community as basically just a group of people who knew each other and hung out or lived together and tried to be relatively nice to each other and help each other out. The community of MSUS is all that, but so much more.

It's not all unicorns and rainbows. While most of us do like each other most of the time, there are also times when we annoy and irritate each other. One of the most important things I've learned from being a member of MSUS is that it's okay to get frustrated and even angry with someone, because those normal, perfectly human "negative" feelings won't break our bond.

Truly being part of a community is also a lot of work and a big commitment. There is the obvious work and time that it takes to be on a committee or teach Sunday school or clean up after potluck, and also the less tangible work of caring about other people and opening your heart up to their joys and sorrows. Caring about someone always makes you at least a little vulnerable, because at some point you're going to need and want to share their pain, even if you are only carrying a small portion of it. But another amazing discovery I've made through the years is that it's a great honor when someone lets you in on their struggles and their grief, and that it's also a huge source of strength and comfort to know you can share yours with them.

As all my gentle readers know, I'm obsessed with anniversaries, so I feel obligated to acknowledge that it's been ten years since Chad and I started regularly attending MSUS. We had been Unitarian Universalists since college but were slow to realize that we had a little UU church in our own little corner of the world in Fridley. At the time I had no idea who Michael Servetus was, and for some reason guessed that he was a founding father of Fridley. (Let's just say I was very wrong. Google it.) In those ten years we have been pretty active MSUSers, including a tenure for Chad as board president (I like to say Grand Poobah but sadly he didn't get a furry be-horned hat). We also have MSUS to thank for our midlife "let's be actors!" crises, as our current acting endeavors started with the MSUS production of "Our Town." More important than any of that is the people we've met. Some have become dear friends, some we have know only briefing and in passing, and some have left the church or died. But we have all made a mark on each other. 

Well, I am a drummer
 and like to wear purple....

Sometimes I'm hesitant to tell people how much time I spend at church, because I don't want them to think I'm a "church-y" person. This probably says more about my stereotypes and biases than anyone else's, or maybe that I was a teen during Dana Carvey's years as "The Church Lady" on Saturday Night Live.  I just don't want people to think that they can't drink or swear or tell dirty jokes around me, or that I have a "superior dance" (it's really just a "superior step.") But stereotypes aside, our little church, and the whole Unitarian Universalist religion that we're a part of, is pretty unique. I don't want to try and attempt to explain via blog what Unitarian Universalists are all about (you have the interwebs for that) but we aren't required to profess any creeds. As our website says, "We are united not by shared beliefs or creeds but by a desire to learn, serve, celebrate, and grow together." That means some of us believe in God (or gods) but many of us are atheists, Buddhists, humanists, etc. or a combination of that and more.

Many times people are very confused by why people who don't believe in God (like Chad and I) go to church. Trying to explain the theological or philosophical reasons for this is also way outside my blogging power or purpose, but for me, the primary reason that touches my heart is to experience community. Again, I quote our website: "We are a vibrant and diverse community that supports, inspires, and sustains each other on our spiritual journeys." Sharing and experiencing that community is what I consider sacred. MSUS isn't the only place I experience community, and I certainly don't think people have to go to church to be in a community, but I am so thankful that I can be part of community in this way. It almost makes we want to have a "happy dance."