Whose Line is it Anyway?

Chad and I are in show that we will perform in just over two weeks, (the most awesome one-act "Bird Icon" by Jim Lundy that we are bringing to Fast Fest in Cloquet) so I definitely need to be in line-memorizing mode. People often comment about how hard it would be for them to memorize lines, but I really never thought that much about it when I decided to give my community theater career a whirl. I think I blithely thought "Oh, I'm smart, I can memorize" or had a vague memory that it wasn't that hard for me to memorize lines back in the day when I was in high school. Well, who know what it was really like for me back then, perhaps I never really had all that many lines, or it was just much easier to memorize them because my brain was young and absorbent. Whatever the reasons, memorizing lines has turned out to be much harder than I ever remember it being or ever thought it was going to be.

Going through a new script to highlight my lines is always exciting and terrifying (and sometimes disappointing). While I rationally understand that the number of lines my character has does not have a direct correlation to the quality or value of my role, my inner diva math goes "more lines=more attention=more awesomeness." So while my attention-ho self cheers having lots of lines, a rational part of me says "Hey, you realize you have to actually memorize all of that."

Line memorization is usually the foundation of a performance. If you don't know your lines (if your character has lines and I've certainly had roles with few to none), you really can't perform. Nothing else is going to happen. But knowing and saying your lines is just the beginning. Although it can be a long and arduous first step, it really is just a first step. Being able to recite lines is miles away from bringing a character to life. You can't really llisten and be in the moment as an actor if you are constantly worrying and thinking about what your next line is. 

Unfortunately, I've discovered that I have a bit of performance anxiety about line memorization. (Chad, damn him, is much better and faster at memorization). I can know my lines, and know that I know my lines, but fear about forgetting them and nervousness about performing can make those lines just fly out of my head. Luckily, (so far) no major catastrophes have happened because I've forgotten my lines, but there have definitely been some moments of excitement and terror.

"I don't need to know my lines, I have Crazy Doll"--This Property's Condemned

My most noteworthy line-loss meltdown was probably four years ago at Fast Fest, when I skipped about half of "This Property's Condemned." At first, I didn't even realize I'd done it (hey, I really WAS in the moment) and wondering why my co-star, Connor, had this look of "WTF?" in his eyes. Luckily, this was just a two person show and my off-balanced character's dialogue was circuitous and repetitive, so I was able to just circle back to what I had dropped. My then (and current) director and dear friend Gary said it gave him confidence that I could pull a show back from the brink, no matter how bad I might screw up my lines. I don't ever want to test this but I hope it's true.